I turn 39 in a couple of months. All these years I've never been able to figure out one thing - why are people the way they are?
Weird question, huh?
Here’s a better way to put it. Why do they form judgments without bothering to find out facts and realities?
Here's what I think about it: if you don’t behave or do certain things in the exact way someone expects you to, then you are wrong in his or her eyes! The difficult part: there are so many people in your life - some of them close, some not - and you can’t please them all.
They, however, all have one thing in common. They are quicker than light to come to judgments.
A few months back, I’d taken a break from work. I reached home with the intention of getting some rest and some good home-made food.
If you know how things work in Kerala among the Malayalis, you would be familiar with what I’m going to say.
In no time neighbours know that you’ve arrived. Then it’s friends and relatives. The first few days pass with the regular “How’s life/work?” and “How long are you here?” They expect a very precise answer to the second question, like “Until Monday” or “I’ll leave tomorrow”.
The moment you say something like “in a few days” or “I haven’t decided yet”, you’ve triggered off a juggernaut of speculations that will spread faster than a jungle fire.
Before you know it, people are asking your mom or sister whether you are havig trouble at work or if your marriage is running into rough weather. These are just two, believe me. They can come up with more number of deductions than there are moves on a chessboard.
A confession to make here. My holiday wasn’t just a holiday. I needed a real break from work. I was also thinking of quitting or even changing my stream of work (which would have been a Herculean task since I am a journalist).
Anyway, the first few days I stayed home, enjoyed mom’s cooking and watched a few Malayalam movies which released while I was away. The question of my career was very much on my mind.
Without much hue and cry I started my search - just to see how good my options are were before I had ‘talk’ with my boss. My chances were good. The next move was to send across my CV to prospective employers, friends, etc.
The problem if you have 16 years of experience is that openings are not that easy to come by and, moreover, you need to make the right move. A novice or a person with a couple of years of experience will find it much easier to find an opening. But for me it wasn’t so.
After I did my part I had to wait... that’s the way of things.
Before long my mother started getting ‘feedbacks’ from friends and relatives. Some of them were really concerned. Most of them went along the lines of “he doesn’t seem to be doing enough.” Or “why is he taking it so easy?”
None of them knew how things work in my field. And some haven’t had the bad fortune of ever having to hunt for a job! How then do they know whether I’m trying hard or not.
Then it dawned on me: the key is not what you are doing, the key is how much of it is shown out there.
I learned this long back. But never put it into practice.
One of my former colleagues once told me: “You work your ass off. Still the boss doesn’t think you work much. The thing is, Sooraj, it’s not the amount of work that is done, you got to make a ‘show’ out of it. Look busy, act busy. ‘Scream out’ Sooraj, ‘Scream out’ to the world that you are the best and you’ve done tons of work.”
Turning 39, I’ve realised one thing. It’s late but I really need to start doing what my friend told me long back.
No comments:
Post a Comment