Scream out to the world…‘I’m the best’

I turn 39 in a couple of months. All these years I've never been able to figure out one thing - why are people the way they are?

Weird question, huh?

Here’s a better way to put it. Why do they form judgments without bothering to find out facts and realities?

Here's what I think about it: if you don’t behave or do certain things in the exact way someone expects you to, then you are wrong in his or her eyes! The difficult part: there are so many people in your life - some of them close, some not - and you can’t please them all.

They, however, all have one thing in common. They are quicker than light to come to judgments.

A few months back, I’d taken a break from work. I reached home with the intention of getting some rest and some good home-made food.

If you know how things work in Kerala among the Malayalis, you would be familiar with what I’m going to say.

In no time neighbours know that you’ve arrived. Then it’s friends and relatives. The first few days pass with the regular “How’s life/work?” and “How long are you here?” They expect a very precise answer to the second question, like “Until Monday” or “I’ll leave tomorrow”.

The moment you say something like “in a few days” or “I haven’t decided yet”, you’ve triggered off a juggernaut of speculations that will spread faster than a jungle fire.

Before you know it, people are asking your mom or sister whether you are havig trouble at work or if your marriage is running into rough weather. These are just two, believe me. They can come up with more number of deductions than there are moves on a chessboard.

A confession to make here. My holiday wasn’t just a holiday. I needed a real break from work. I was also thinking of quitting or even changing my stream of work (which would have been a Herculean task since I am a journalist).

Anyway, the first few days I stayed home, enjoyed mom’s cooking and watched a few Malayalam movies which released while I was away. The question of my career was very much on my mind.

Without much hue and cry I started my search - just to see how good my options are were before I had ‘talk’ with my boss. My chances were good. The next move was to send across my CV to prospective employers, friends, etc.

The problem if you have 16 years of experience is that openings are not that easy to come by and, moreover, you need to make the right move. A novice or a person with a couple of years of experience will find it much easier to find an opening. But for me it wasn’t so.

After I did my part I had to wait... that’s the way of things.

Before long my mother started getting ‘feedbacks’ from friends and relatives. Some of them were really concerned. Most of them went along the lines of “he doesn’t seem to be doing enough.” Or “why is he taking it so easy?”

None of them knew how things work in my field. And some haven’t had the bad fortune of ever having to hunt for a job! How then do they know whether I’m trying hard or not.

Then it dawned on me: the key is not what you are doing, the key is how much of it is shown out there.

I learned this long back. But never put it into practice.

One of my former colleagues once told me: “You work your ass off. Still the boss doesn’t think you work much. The thing is, Sooraj, it’s not the amount of work that is done, you got to make a ‘show’ out of it. Look busy, act busy. ‘Scream out’ Sooraj, ‘Scream out’ to the world that you are the best and you’ve done tons of work.”

Turning 39, I’ve realised one thing. It’s late but I really need to start doing what my friend told me long back.

Farmville - more than just a farm

I'm sure most of you have heard of it. And some of you have played it, too. It's called Farmville. On Facebook.

I play. And I enjoy it. What's wrong in it?

I've seen how different people react to it in different ways - from something bordering on contempt to curiosity to plain obsessive.

One of my colleagues, Shanti, recently said, "I've never played Farmville. It's nonsense. That and all those other games you have in there." I looked at her and decided that her comment did not deserve a reply. Instead, I gave her my signature 'blank' look.

I don't know if it conveyed what I had in mind, but she quickly added: "Well there may be people who enjoy it, but I don't see any fun in it."

Alright, that's a better way of putting it I thought, and moved on. Still without replying to her.

Another colleague, Swati, asked me, "Is it really that interesting, Sooraj? That you spend a lot of time on it?"

"It's simple, Swati," I said. "People find pleasure in different things. Just like music helps someone relax and unwind, this farm or ranch or cafe or any of those games helps someone else," I said. "To me, personally, I've always wanted to have a farmhouse... away from the noise and the crowds of the city... However, I really don't see myself having a farmhouse in this life."

"So you are living a kind of dream?" asked Swati. "Yes," I said.

It is really a dream. One which I've told my mom and my close friends... how I'd like to live on a ranch... with trees, animals, plants and what not. I've dreamt of harvesting stuff, collecting eggs and milk, and driving off in my pick-up to sell it at the nearby market.

I've dreamt of my children running around in the vast open ground, breathing the fresh air, playing with the dogs, feeding the cattle, swimming in the clear river or lake and eating farm fresh fruits and vegetables.

It's still a dream. I have no clue if it will stay one till the end of my life.

The other day I got a call at 2 a.m. at night. I had finished work and reached home by about 1 a.m. I was about to hit the sack when Devil, my colleague, called. (Btw, I don't call her Devil because she is evil... she is a sweet kid.)

She wanted me to send her gifts on Farmville!! RIGHT AWAY!!! Because she wanted to finish her maison before she went to bed. She needed one more nail!

"I need it now... I won't be able to sleep if I don't finish it today... Kunal has reached level blah blah...," she rattled off.

Good Lord!! Was she nuts? Anyway, I sent it to her.

From the very next day, she started badgering me. For gifts. "Send me a glass pane, Sooraj." "Send me a brick, Sooraj." And, quite often, I was bombarded with questions about why I didn't do something or why I did something!

Grrr!!!

"See, I play Farmville and Countrylife to relax, and, yes, I enjoy it," I tried to reason with her. I thought I had made it clear that this was just my hobby... not my profession. But her badgering didn't lessen, not one bit.

In fact, it got to such an extent that, finally, I gave her my password and said, "Go... send yourself gifts and stop pestering me."

Peace at last? No! Less than 24 hours later, my girlfriend stands in front of me, hands on her hips, with a look on her face that I don't like too much. "Who's playing on your farm?"

"Devil," I said.

"Why?"

"She wanted gifts and you know... I don't play everyday... so I just gave her my password," I muttered.

The look on her face spelt trouble. I knew it. It was right there... written in 78 point bold lettering!

I tried to reason. "Honey, you know it's just a game. And since she is so into it, I thought... you know, I'd let her 'borrow my game' from time to time," I said with a sheepish smile.

"I play on your farm," she said. "Didn't know that you would let someone else play it, too."

Oops! I didn't know my girlfriend could get possessive about Farmville!